safe journey, reg...

He's gone.

I've been dreading this day for over two years, when Rhed first told me of his plan to leave the country and become a director. Back then, he was "Tootsie." Today, it's "Reg" who's leaving - and that doesn't make it any easier.

In fact, it's harder I think.

It's actually a lot harder for me now. I don't think I ever cried this much when I lost my Tootsie. Reg leaving is WAY more painful, because I love the way we are now and because there's just so much of him that I'll miss. That I do miss. Things like...

- the way we fight
- that smug look he gives when he's right (which is practially ALL THE
TIME!)
- that puppydog look that he exploits so much

He's coming back for Christmas though, of that I'm certain. Especially because he's ever-so-good at proving me wrong - and I was willing to bet that he's not coming back for the holidays. Good ol' Reg. Always knows how to get to me. Still, when you're used to someone's company it's so hard to let go. The Reg we're loaning to Long Island (yes, it's a loan. he's coming back) means more to me than any Tootsie ever will.

This morning, Reg said thank you for loving him so much. Truth is, however, that it was never really that hard to do. We've had more than our fair share of drama, but he's just so easy to forgive (?) - moreso to love. And to this day, for the life of me, I still can't pinpoint exactly as to WHY. HE JUST IS. Lucky bastard. ;)

He did give me a great going-away present though - and it wasn't season 9 of Friends. It's hard to explain, especially to anyone who might chance upon reading this, but we're really not that affectionate. I think we have too much weird history for that. But this morning, for the first time in 3 years, we hugged. We've never hugged like that before kasi. Ever. And, for the first time, he made me feel, without doubt, that he REALLY loved me. I thank God for the strength he gave, that I didn't cry, because one of us had to be strong. Best goodbye present he ever could have given me. Well, second to him finally saying to my face, with conviction, I LOVE YOU. Hehe. :) I guess I'm a special siopao after all. :)

When I finally got into the car, where I would hitch a ride with Alls on the way home, the tears just came. In true Chiko fashion, I didn't let him see me cry. And, as I told Alls, it wasn't for anything else but that HE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.

So, how do I feel right now? Quoting my dear friend Reg... "IT FEELS GOOD TO BE LOVED."

You will be missed.

Come back soon, okay?